microthrills's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Come Together. There is much to discuss. I'm writing from a southern state. The 9 to sometimes 12 people I am sharing a house with are all asleep. I need this rare moment of privacy. I decided after T and I broke up I wanted to get away from NYC for some time and away from the people and places that kept reminding me of him. I have friends who live here, a recently engaged/broken up/dating again couple. She lives in SC and he lives in NYC. This is not the reason for their breakup; her parents do not want her marrying someone who doesn't share their ethnicity. She chose her family over him and he is still visibly crushed over this. She, The Flight Attendant (for now, occupations will serve as adequate nicknames when initials won't do), asks me to visit constantly and this time I was happy to take her up on this offer. Many of our mutual friends are teachers and bunches of them have been taking trips down here so when I arrived, almost everyone else had already been partying for a few days. A close friend who lives in Florida, The German, drove up with his friend MK. The German was added motivation to come on this trip. He is one of my favourite people to vacation with. He is an excellent story teller, a gentleman, and he is a person with eclectic interests. I can spend days with The German and be continually surprised and interested in what he has to say. I remember meeting MK, briefly, during my last visit with The German in April. I can remember people's faces easily but sometimes not their names or where we met. When I went to introduce myself he reminded me of the Easter party where we met and shared a couple of joints...(but not much conversation). Rooms are divided up by couples and a group of 3. The German, MK, and myself are the odd ones out, no roomies. I opt to room with The German while MK agrees to take the sofa bed in the living room. There is an unfurnished loft that anyone is free to sleep in if they, or their roommate, wants privacy. During the first two days drinking, smoking, cooking goes on all day. I am catching up with my friends and I'm becoming aware of the extra attention MK is paying me. My drinks are replaced quickly by him, lighters appear when I ask for them, and he is sitting close. MK is tall, tan, and blonde. Curly, longish hair that I like immediately and keep getting the urge to run my hands through. As the second day passes, I get it, he is interested or at least curious. He touches my hand and arm for no reason. He asks a lot of questions. He offers smile after smile. Hours later, everyone is in the pool. I am getting long, intense stares from MK. I don't enjoy being stared at, it makes me nervous and self-concious. There is a game of volleyball happening that I sometimes involve myself in. MK and I are now next to each other and begin playfully teasing each other in the water, splashing and he is grabbing my hands under the water. He is getting braver and I am more comfortable. Pot helps. When people begin to exit the pool for beers MK leans over and kisses my mouth. His lips are dry and taste like chlorine. That is the last time we touch that night. I go to sleep in the room with The German and we spend hours talking in the dark on freezing cold air mattresses. He saw MK kiss me and he asked how I felt about it. How was I dealing with my breakup with T. I don't go into much detail and I tell him I am fine with the way things are between T and I; this is true, sometimes. He encourages me to enjoy myself during the vacation, in every possible way. I adore The German. His personality is one that is so carefree and he is someone that really enjoys life, no matter the situation. I want to learn how to be more like this. The next night we are all getting dressed to go to a club. I am usually not a fan of clubs but this is what the majority of the group wants to do. Burn off some energy, and drugs, on a dance floor and The Flight Attendant claims she knows one that is decent and plays good music and draws a fun crowd of college students. It's on. MK and I are dancing in the middle of a crowd of our friends and friendly strangers. Sometimes he presses his hips against mine or against my ass and rubs his hands down my stomach. There is increased eye contact and he compliments my eyes, calls them "pretty doe eyes" and is running his hands through my hair. I am sweaty and hot and there are people pushing us closer until it is almost impossible not to be grinding against someone else. I dance with my girlfriends, strangers, MK. There are a lot of people taking pills. I suspect MK takes one too because he has a dopey grin on his face and very wide eyes. "Let me stay with you tonight." I agree. I am desperate to feel good. I miss T. I miss feeling a man want me. We don't get back to the house for another couple of hours. I roll another joint because I need to unwind and I'm not sure what is going to happen or what I want to happen. We goes upstairs and smoke and he is kissing me in between smoking and whispering into my ear that he thinks I'm hot and he lets his hands drag all over my body. I close my eyes and try to stop thinking. He is lifting my dress over my head and is kissing my stomach, my chest, telling me that my tits look incredible and he wants to suck on them. I let him. I can feel his dick through his pants. It feels thick, but not too long, and he is rubbing up against my thigh. Our clothes are slowly coming off. I know I do not want to fuck him. He isn't pushing. He is kissing my stomach, down to my hips, and on the insides of my thighs. I rarely let someone go down on me unless I feel completely comfortable. His mouth feels warm on my skin. I close my eyes again and start imagining T instead of MK. I feel his tongue flicker around my pussy and it sends shock waves through me. He starts getting into it, making very sexy noises and using his hands to grab my tits and sometimes slips his finger inside of me. I notice something else. He has positioned my legs so that he is rubbing his dick against my foot. I hate things touching my feet. I don't like touching other people's feet. I don't like people touching my feet with any part of their body. I open my mouth to protest and then stop and decide to see where he is going with this... It is distracting but so is his mouth, his tongue, his lips sucking on my clit. He has a nice dick, not huge but has a nice big round head that I would love to suck on. I think of sucking T's dick and how I crave it in my mouth. MK's mouth feels amazing. But his dick is now under the arch of my foot and he is moving his hips back and forth, humping my foot. Now, I am extremely open minded. I try not to be prudish about what turns people on because there is some freaky shit I really enjoy and I don't want to be judged for it. Most times, it is not the act that turns me on. It is my partner's enjoyment. If humping my foot is something you want to do, then I need to see you really wanting it and really getting turned on by it. THAT is what turns me on. I will do whatever you want if you show me that you really want it. I've done stuff that I would have never agreed to if my partner didn't show me how badly they wanted it. All of sudden, I find myself engaged in the act and then adding to it. "I want to cum on your feet." I tell him if he wants to cum on my feet, he has to make me cum first. I tell him to shut up and make me feel good. He is begging and putting his entire body into pleasing me. I picture T being there, watching this. I picture him giving MK pointers on what I like. I picture T jerking his dick while watching this guy go down on me. I think of T calling me a whore and slut and making me tell him that I like what MK is doing to me. I picture T jerking off in front of my face and telling me he is going to cum all over my face as soon as I cum. I picture swallowing his cum and letting it drip down my chin and all over my tits. This makes me cum. MK comes all over my foot. "Ican'tstopIcan'tstopIcan'tstop." He is whispering furiously into my hips. I grab his hair and he rests his head on my thighs and asks if it was okay. I actually didn't mind that he did this because he was so into it. I kiss his mouth and clean myself up. We laugh as he hands me tissues and climb back onto the air mattress. I am exhausted and MK is telling me how much he enjoyed that, he talks until we both fall asleep. In the morning, I get up first and let him sleep. I am not interested in the morning after chat or cuddling. I love spending that time with T and I am not interested in duplicating that with an almost-stranger. I go down to make myself breakfast and The German is also up. He laughs. "You guys were LOUD!" Good lawd. MK comes down and I am slightly cool with him. Let him chase me a bit. I don't like to give in easily. Let him replay the night over in his head. He doesn't need to know that I am verrry curious about this freakish side of him. Men usually feel comfortable around me. I notice many, in bed, tend to not hold back their fetishes and fantasies, even if we haven't known each other for very long. I really like this. I want people to feel comfortable around me and to not worry about me judging them. I expect the same in return when I choose to open up and talk about what I want from them. There are a lot of things I want to ask for but I am not always comfortable. If you can find a way to put me at ease, we are going to have a really fun time and you will get ev-er-ry-thing you want. Last night, I chose to sleep in the loft. We went night swimming again and MK keeps trying to grab my attention. I act aloof. I flirt back before he gets discouraged and the game starts again. This morning I woke up early. I couldn't sleep. Before I went to bed last night, I read T's blog. His latest entry is about another girl, a third date, about letting his freak side out. We have been communicating while I have been down here. I told him about MK but not the details. He thinks I blew MK, but I didn't. I read T's entry several times. There were some fresh waves of pain as I think of him dating other girls but I knew this was going to happen. I expect it. Maybe I wasn't ready to read about it yet but I forced myself to. This is how I heal. If something hurts, I try not to shy away from it, but face it again and again until it doesn't hurt anymore. 9:50 a.m. - 2009-08-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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