microthrills's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gimme that sweet, that nasty, that gooshy stuff. I think T and I have the most deliciously perverted sexual relationship. I really enjoy being with someone who I don't have to edit myself with. On my computer, there are about a dozen of snippets of entries I have started to write but never finished, or became distracted (by a new sexcapade with T) and I was reading through them to see if I could make one long entry, I realize how much freaky shit is in there. I'll save those for another day. T and I had an excellent weekend together and I wanted to share it before it starts to fade my from memory. One of our favourite things to do in bed is to get stoned either before or while we are having sex. T thinks of it as kind of a game because sometimes it makes his dick soft and I see how long it takes to get hard again, usually by putting it in my mouth. Not long. Yesterday we took turns blowing the smoke into each others mouths and succeeded in getting very high. We have been encouraging each other to open up more emotionally because it makes the sex so much more intense. Yesterday, while we were in his bed he encouraged me to talk about a painful experience I went through when I was younger. He knew the story but he wanted me to tell it again, and pushed me until I did. I talked and cried and he comforted me as he always does when I tell him my dark secrets; stories that make me feel unsexy and unwanted and he turns them into a tender moment. I tell him why I don't like it when people touch my teeth and he reminds me that he's not "people", he's my lover. The crying is an example of one of our weird fetishes. He likes the way I breathe when I cry, he likes how my face is flushed and my eyes are watery and sometimes he brings his mouth to my eyes and licks the tears off of my face. We have others, some where some terrible names are exchanged but it makes me love him even more when I hear him call me a whore. I beg him like a drug addict to fuck me harder. He told me that he worries that he has corrupted me and I laughed and told him I loved weird, kinky sex wayyy before he came into the picture. He and I are the same, you have to be a little messed up in the head to do what we do. I think I have been incredibly lucky when it comes to lovers and boyfriends. I have had patient teachers and people who taught me that sex is not scary, it is fun and when you share it with someone that really gets you, it can blow your mind. Sometimes I want to pour out my entire soul to him and I wish for him to do the same. We are building levels of trust very slowly. We have been sharing more thoughts and fantasies with each other. We imagine becoming roommates and how great it would be for me to have the luxury of sucking his dick every morning. We role play and indulge in dirty fantasies that I can only trust him with. I let him hurt me, mark up my skin, curl his fingers around my neck and push my face into the pillow while he uses my pussy to pound his dick into. We talk about how to get his friend who is visiting this weekend agree to let me give him and T a double blow-job. Yesterday was a blur of sex and drinking and drugs and friends and multiple orgasms for the both of us. We came back to his apartment after his friends party but our bodies could not keep up with our libidos and we fell asleep after half a beeJ session. We woke up in the middle of the night and had a nice slow fuck and again this morning. Our bodies are like magnets, finding each other in a mess of covers. The key to our situation is communication. It keeps us close and makes us closer every time we are together. He dates, I date, at least we are honest with each other. We agree that problems come up when things like this are kept secret from your partner and they are left to just speculate and imagine the worst. My friends worry that if I do not choose either sex or friendship with T, eventually my feelings will be hurt. I urge them not to judge our relationship, the only two people who truly know it are him and I. 4:19 p.m. - 2009-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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